Orange

Orange is one of my favorite colors.

I bought an orange tank-top today.

Just for her.

Because Orange can really brighten any day.

Feel the Truth

Become a fan of Willy Eklof on Facebook

Every so often, the wounds open again and I 'feel the truth'

For Garrick

Derek

and Alexis and Amanda

And often all at the same time.

My friend, Willy is amazing.
And he wrote this song for Derek

That day that I found out about the car accident and Alexis and Amanda's death, all I could do was just play this song over and over again and cry.

Willy, you really have no idea how much this song helped me, not only with Derek's death, but with Alexis's. Your words were really such a comfort to me.

All four of these dear friends were really too sweet to stay here in this wretched place for the entirety of their life. And each one has changed me in different ways, and, like Willy, my life will go on but it will never be the same.

I cannot wait until the end when I can see these smiling faces again.

Sometimes It's Hard

To go to work.

Knowing that I would so rather have her working with Ton than me.

Feeling guilty because it should be her. Not me.

Seeing her half completed time card with her signature.

Always coming across old notes and 'to-do' lists.

Thinking of the last time I saw her. That Friday before I left to California. At Tonya's seventeenth birthday party that she planned and put together. Right there in that house.

Reliving the time that I called Pheobe and told her of the news, starting with "There was a terrible accident. . . " and not able to complete the sentence without falling apart.

Seeing Tonya's pain from losing a best friend.

And those times that she comes up in conversation, because she's always on our minds.

And that's just at the Blackham's. . .

I miss my fourth sister.
And my two best friends (Holly and Tonya)'s best friend.

I learned much more than I paid for

In addition to learning how to manage a class, how to teach reading effectively, and how to be a teacher,

Throughout this year of school I also have learned

1. Best friends are the ones that are there not only for the happy times, but the times you are sad, need to cry, you need your car fixed, a laugh, or just a hug

2. Friends are forever - no matter the distance.
3. Even though you love spending time with someone, and love their presence, and so much about them, they may not be the right person for you.
4. That families really are eternal - and will be reunited again.
5. You never know when someone will leave this world. Or the impact they had on you completely until they're gone.
6. That Disneyland isn't always the happiest place on earth
7. That everyone always needs a friend
8. That I have the best, funnest, funniest family in the world!
9. To never walk up the hill to campus early in the morning right after rain - when it's still frozen. Just save time, cuts, and bruises, and ride the bus.
10. That everything happens for a reason. And sometimes, you don't know the reason, you just have to put all of your trust in Him.
11. That it's okay to cry
12. That I will never go another month without owning a library card
13. That everyone has insecurities
14. Life just is hard sometimes. And just when it seems to be getting easier, something else comes up.
15. But that's just life. And needs to be lived with a smile, like Alexis and Derek did.

I love good stories. .

But I love GREAT stories even better.

And without fail, I cry every time. . at least once
Just don't tell anyone, Mkay?

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

I know I've posted a whole lot about you, Alexis.
But, you mean more to me than words can even express.

At your funeral, we sang this song.

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.


I love you, Alexis.
And this amazing drawing captures how Christlike you are.

I know where you are
And I will try my very best and more to make sure that I can be with you again.

Best Friends Forever

Holly and Alexis are so cute and sweet.
A while ago, Alexis made a way cute scrapbook of her and Holly.
So, my family has been scanning pictures from that scrapbook for a slideshow for the funeral.

Katie did a way cute blog on the different memories with Holly and Alexis.
http://katieandadam.blogspot.com/2009/04/old-pics.html

I just had to put some cute pictures on here.

Best friends forever.

The Johnsons

Please keep the Johnson Family in your prayers.

My sister wrote this so beautifully, explaining a little of what happened.

http://www.katieandadam.blogspot.com/

To Alexis

I wish that the last thing that we talked about wasn't about boys, proms, and awkward dates.
I wish that the last time I left you wasn't just with a wave and a whisper goodbye while you were on the phone.

Instead, I wish that when I left the door I looked at you one more time.
And given you a huge hug.
And told you that I love you.
And that I look up to you.
Your smile.
Your laugh.
Your easygoing personality.
I wish I would have told you that I recommended you to work with Tonya, because you would be the best. That you are so mature and would do a much better job than I ever could. And that Tonya would learn so much from you.
I wish I would have talked to you about all of our memories: this is the place, anything and everything that we went where we could bring friends, gold and green balls, sewing class, the macey's kid's club, christmas eve swimming, Holly's birthdays, and just being with you when you came over to play with Holly.
I wish that I would have told you that everytime we would pass Payson, Holly would say, "Alexis used to live here!" And showed us the direction of your old house.
I wish I would have told you that everytime I hear anything by Faith Hill, I think of you.
I wish I would have told you that I loved yours and Amanda's Christmas card.
I wish I would have told you that you are just like a sister to us.
I wish I would have told you that Holly is so lucky to have a best friend like you.
I wish I would have told you that if you ever were to leave, there would be a irreplaceable hole in my heart.

I miss you and love you, Alexis.
And will see your smiling face again.